MASTER THE ART OF PRODUCTIVE DISAGREEMENT!!! Self Help & Argument Tips from Buster Benson

Michael Sandler December 25, 2019 8

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If you’ve ever struggled with arguments or disagreements, then do we have the why are we yelling show for you.

Today I’ll be talking with Buster Benson, entrepreneur, former product leader at Amazon, Twitter, Slack, and Patreon, the CEO of, and the author of a fun and fantastic look at disagreements, “Why Are We Yelling?”

And that’s just what I want to talk with him about today, about why in the world are we yelling?, and the art of productive disagreement. 

Key Points Discussed: 

  • Why did you go from Silicon Valley to the art of disagreements? (02:49)
  • The art of productive disagreement: Buster’s new superpower (03:44)
  • What is a productive disagreement? (05:18)
  • Ruinous empathy and how it can create disastrous situations (07:20)
  • What’s the backfire effect and what’s going on with kitty cat? (09:56)
  • What’s the importance of asking, “Is this about what’s true, what’s meaningful, or what’s useful?” (11:10)
  • Should we be trying to win arguments? (15:15)
  • What does it mean to acknowledge the shadow or projections? (15:58)
  • The first step in the art of disagreement (18:47)
  • Sliced bagels and what they have to with anxiety (19:34)
  • The pink train named Rosy, our internal voices and the importance of self-talk (23:55)
  • Developing an honest bias and getting a front seat to the interesting person that is Jeff Bezos (26:53)
  • Challenging our beliefs and realizing how we are missing something today so we can be smarter tomorrow (32:15)
  • Having productive conversations by asking questions that invite surprising answers (35:40)
  • What is nut picking and why are we wired that we need to win? (40:31)
  • What can you tell us about monkey paws and guns? (44:48)
  • Cultivating neutral spaces to be mindful of the environments we’re in (46:11)
  • Excepting reality and then participating in it (49:39)
  • What have you been teaching your kids about productive disagreements? (51:55)
  • How disagreeing on one thing a day can make a relationship stronger (54:33)

Additional Resources:


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    MASTER THE ART OF PRODUCTIVE DISAGREEMENT!!! Self Help & Argument Tips from Buster Benson
    Michael Sandler

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Michael Sandler

Our Goal’s to Help Change the World by Helping YOU to Shine Bright! Now one of the top self-help & spirituality shows in 185 countries w/a new inspirational, motivational, spiritual, Law of Attraction or health-oriented guest DAILY! Plus guided meditations! After overcoming 2 near-death accidents, Host Michael Sandler felt a calling to start a life-changing show to help you live the life of your dreams! Guests Include Dr, Joe Dispenza, Bob Proctor, Dr. Christiane Northrup, Pam Grout, Anthony William, Arielle Ford, and countless more! Our goal is to leave you an ear-to-ear grin and an actionable plan to achieve your goals! Get ready to live your greatest life and to Shine Bright!!!

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